This is a series of posts that will log some of my thoughts in the month leading up to my moving back to New Zealand.
We were given an exception to the New Zealand travel ban because Mary is a nurse and therefore an essential worker. Once we land in Auckland, we’ll be required to quarantine for two weeks with food being brought right to us. It is my understanding that this will come at no cost to us.
Relief. Excitement. A bit of dread of the work that now needs to happen. And some fear and trepidation. All of these feelings are vying for space within me. On the one hand, I wish I could board the plane today. On the other, there is still the question of whether or not this is the right thing to do at all.
But that question weighs on me much lighter than before. For the most part, this feels right — for whatever that is worth. Feelings are probably not the best way to make decisions, but I’m not sure one could accurately claim that logic is either. Would it be possible to stick all the pros and cons, all the variables, into an algorithm, and have it tell us what we should do?
If so, would it tell us to leave this land where gun stores are considered “essential services” and individuals sue their governments for violating their rights to endanger others by not following stay at home orders. To be fair, someone tried this in New Zealand but the case was quickly thrown out of court. Give me teddy bears in windows and Easter bunnies as essential workers instead. Give me a country where people and political parties by and large come together during times of crisis instead of using them to tear each other apart. Give me a place where we can see a doctor without worrying about the cost.
I feel like a sailor attempting to row away from a sinking ship. With that comes guilt about abandoning my crew. My family in particular right now. There are my friends as well. I’d like to think that I’m not abandoning ship on them but instead charting a course to a new land that hopefully some of them will follow. Not likely I know. But one can always hope.
On this migration, we plan on sticking it out and trying to get a resident visa. Then, we’ll be able to come back and forth freely as needed. But there is a gauntlet to run first. We have to avoid the virus between now and our departure date. This gives us extra incentive to tread carefully and take care of ourselves. I won’t feel like we’ve made it until we’re safe on the ground and through customs and immigration.
